...or the overwhelming lightness of living your values.
I've been shitty lately. I couldn't put my finger on it until I was in my psychiatrist's office last month. There were a couple of catalysts but the main one that stands out in my mind is the Mexican standoff I had with a stranger in a public shopping centre carpark, the day before I saw my shrink. That was the peak of it.
Firstly, I had gone against my better judgement (and experience) by going to that carpark in the first place. In this suburb I usually park in the (un-metered) back streets about a ten minute walk away. The benefit of this is threefold: light exercise, chance to clear my mind before my appointment and no time pressure for the free parking. In this instance I thought I might try the shopping centre carpark instead, in case I wanted to also do grocery shopping. As always in the carpark, there was mass confusion and people doing stupid and illegal things like driving in the wrong lane and blocking off traffic. Long story short: a lady and I were going for the same carpark. If another carpark hadn’t become available that moment so we could each have one, I’m not sure what would have happened.
For many of you there comes a point in your life where for whatever reason, you may just snap it. You’ve kept doing the same thing over and over again and suddenly you realise, it’s just not working…and it probably never did, but you did it regardless.
I reached this point in that shitty, dark and dank basement carpark. The perfect setting for what felt like a lifetime of frustration that finally peaked and exploded. I realised in that moment that I had been putting up with a constant conflict in my value system, which created that angst, frustration and inconvenience, just so I can be nice and liked by other people. Liked by whom and for what? A stranger for letting her have the carpark, so she can be appreciative and like me, when she doesn’t even know me and will never even speak to me? WTF?!
My Mexican standoff breakthrough is, I’m sure, more (psychologically) complicated than I’m letting on. But it is not necessary to get into the detail or to analyse it to be able to portray the same takeaway message.
When a major life event occurs, like the cardiac arrest in my case, it hopefully makes you look at things and your life differently. The cliché of life being too short really rings true. Furthermore I believe it’s important, if not mandatory, to hold on to that life is too short concept to be able to make positive change in your own life. From one moment to the next, life can be over. So why spend your precious seconds, minutes, hours, days, months or years of your life being unhappy?
I find that when I’m in the flow and living in harmony with myself and the world around me is when I’m honest with and true to my values. And that means knowing yourself and having the courage to say no to other things that conflict with those values and your happiness.
I've been shitty lately. I couldn't put my finger on it until I was in my psychiatrist's office last month. There were a couple of catalysts but the main one that stands out in my mind is the Mexican standoff I had with a stranger in a public shopping centre carpark, the day before I saw my shrink. That was the peak of it.
Firstly, I had gone against my better judgement (and experience) by going to that carpark in the first place. In this suburb I usually park in the (un-metered) back streets about a ten minute walk away. The benefit of this is threefold: light exercise, chance to clear my mind before my appointment and no time pressure for the free parking. In this instance I thought I might try the shopping centre carpark instead, in case I wanted to also do grocery shopping. As always in the carpark, there was mass confusion and people doing stupid and illegal things like driving in the wrong lane and blocking off traffic. Long story short: a lady and I were going for the same carpark. If another carpark hadn’t become available that moment so we could each have one, I’m not sure what would have happened.
For many of you there comes a point in your life where for whatever reason, you may just snap it. You’ve kept doing the same thing over and over again and suddenly you realise, it’s just not working…and it probably never did, but you did it regardless.
I reached this point in that shitty, dark and dank basement carpark. The perfect setting for what felt like a lifetime of frustration that finally peaked and exploded. I realised in that moment that I had been putting up with a constant conflict in my value system, which created that angst, frustration and inconvenience, just so I can be nice and liked by other people. Liked by whom and for what? A stranger for letting her have the carpark, so she can be appreciative and like me, when she doesn’t even know me and will never even speak to me? WTF?!
My Mexican standoff breakthrough is, I’m sure, more (psychologically) complicated than I’m letting on. But it is not necessary to get into the detail or to analyse it to be able to portray the same takeaway message.
When a major life event occurs, like the cardiac arrest in my case, it hopefully makes you look at things and your life differently. The cliché of life being too short really rings true. Furthermore I believe it’s important, if not mandatory, to hold on to that life is too short concept to be able to make positive change in your own life. From one moment to the next, life can be over. So why spend your precious seconds, minutes, hours, days, months or years of your life being unhappy?
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| image courtesy of Your Core Light |
I find that when I’m in the flow and living in harmony with myself and the world around me is when I’m honest with and true to my values. And that means knowing yourself and having the courage to say no to other things that conflict with those values and your happiness.
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